My Tangled Web

Furry Four Foot

2007-07-22T17:36:00.000+01:00

PJ's parent's new Jack Russell Terrier puppy ... I'd forgotten the "if they can get into trouble... they probably will" rule that puppies live upto. He likes crunching snails... eating gravel... and biting ears. He's rather lovely tho

Tour Guide John

2007-07-20T00:55:00.000+01:00

I drove over to Leeds to see John, and we headed to Bradford to the newly renamed "National Media Museum". http://www.nationalmediamuseum.org.uk/ It would of course be helpful if the road signs actually reflected the name change;) Here we can see John being squashed outside. .... yet looking remarkably cheery despite this ;)

We also journeyed to the village of Saltaire http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltaire , and specifically Salt's Mill http://www.saltsmill.org.uk/index.php .Which has been feautred on a couple of BBC programmes over the past year.

Later John did his tour guide Barbie Impression around Leeds City Centre - I'm sure he remembered where we parked my car really .. didn't you John? ;)

I had a lovely afternoon.. it was good of him to take time off to see me... and to suffer my driving:)

Finally..... a balloon dog of my very own

2007-07-19T20:57:00.000+01:00

After years of telling me he could... PJ finally made me a balloon dog... and then taught me how to add to my inflatable family by creating my own ;) Hours of fun and rubberised squeaking for all the family. ( Ah ha....Now I know why he likes it ;) )

... be seeing you...

2007-07-19T20:36:00.000+01:00

Sunday saw a worsening of the weather conditions.. and so off to Porthmadog for ( a quite frankly god-awful) lunch and then a trip to Portmerion. http://www.portmeirion-village.com/ . I'd not been for well over a decade.. and nothing has changed.. but I guess that's rather the point. Most of it seems to be gift shops and tea rooms.

It's perhaps most famous for being the location for the 1960's TV series "The Prisoner" http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/prisoner/

I am not a number... but I do have a barcode.

Didn't we have a lov-er-lee time the day we went to ......

2007-07-19T20:01:00.000+01:00

Caernarfon... Porthmadog and Portmerion. Hmmmn does have quite the same ring as "Bangor", but I went there too.

Time off work.. and headed to Wales to see Mike and Ben. The weather was very kind on Saturday... and so we went on the Welsh Highland Railway.. as their website says a "12-mile journey from our main station in Caernarfon, overlooked by the magnificent castle, to the village of Rhyd Ddu nestling 650 feet above sea level on the slopes of Snowdon" http://www.welshhighlandrailway.net/index.asp

Strange sights No: 63 : A microwave in a field of sheep

It was on this journey that I noticed... in a field of sheep, near the fence, a microwave oven.. under a large piece of slate! Bizarre wasn't the word... (everyone knows that 'Greece is the word' anyway;) )...it hadn't just been dumped there... it had been neatly placed.. which the slate on top. The question "why?" springs immediately to mind. Answers on a postcard or a sealed down envelope to the usual address please.

Random pictures follow... (sadly non of the microwave... I was too in shock to focus the camera in time)

Regression is nine/ tenths of the law

2007-07-12T16:40:00.001+01:00

Do you ever have one of those days... when you just wonder about your own mental state.. or what you are doing with your life?

I spent Saturday evening (yes Saturday evening.. when most people are off painting the town red.. or at least a light shade of muted orange) with friends .. watching Camberwick Green and then Dangermouse on DVD (the back up plan had been The Simpson's game of Life) .

Admittedly I wasn't feeling all that well... and it was somewhat of a last minute choice to go at all... but I rather enjoyed it. As did my friends... I think Gromit (the sofa arm remote control tidy) was less than impressed tho. Oh dear.. I'm taking pictures of stuffed toys!!! HELP!

Soggy balls.... ?

2007-07-12T16:23:00.001+01:00

Well the Tennis is over for another year... friends get very little sense out of me for those 2 weeks a year (some might argue there isn't much sense the rest of the time either).

Yes Wimbledon occupied most of the BBC's output for 13 days.. and this year was more than a little water logged. In fact I read somewhere it was the wettest for 25 years.

It started with disappointment ( in British terms, with Andy Murray withdrawing before it started .. and Henman failing to get past the second round (despite a "classic Henman" performance over Moya in round one.)... but ended on the second Sunday with Jamie Murray winning the mixed doubles title with Jelena Jankovic.. to much chest thumping and Union flag waving on Centre Court. Nadal proved that he really is a force to be reckoned with.. even on his least favourite surface (Grass) Federer looking vulnerable for the first time in years, and the emergence/blossoming of some young talent... namely (in the men's game) Djokovic (for some very impressive matches through to the semis before retiring with injuries), and Gasquet who played a fantastic 3 sets to over-turn Andy Roddick's impressive lead in the quarter finals) An interesting fortnight all round really.

It's ok .. I've stopped now... you can stop snoring ;)

NCP Opens world's smallest car park

2007-07-08T19:48:00.001+01:00

With kind permission of my friend John in Leeds, here is a picture he took earlier today. I know it's difficult to find a car park space these days.... but really.

Maybe the driver should leave honing their "finding the tighest parking space possible" skill... in favour of learning how to "keep the car on the road in the first place" :)

Multicultural activites in Castlefield

2007-06-11T14:36:00.000+01:00

It was my friend Arno's birthday last week and several of us went to a Japanese restaurant to celebrate. ( we even let Arno come with us.. yes we are THAT kind ) :)

It was an interesting and enjoyable evening... having to explain to birthday boy what 'the bumps' were.... and watching him breaking eggs under the instruction of the Chef in the restaurant .

Then Paul had a go. I kept thinking of the swedish Chef from the Muppets.... You could only tell the difference by the colour of the hat. Yes...the Muppet was the one in the green hat... in case you were wondering :)

The food was excellent.. and Arno had a cake and the staff singing at him and banging things ;) Which was my doing... evil James.

You could lie... and say you missed me... ;)

2007-06-11T14:26:00.000+01:00

Yes.. I'm back again.

I now have a new bathroom... make a bit of a change not to have a hole in the floor and to have a toilet that flushes properly.

The dining room/study has also been replastered and 'made over'... it's all very exciting (and expensive). I also have a pile of wood/ rubbish that needs to be taken to the tip but despite a couple of people offering to help me move it... neither of them actually showed up... still maybe this week it will get sorted. I still have a lot of decoration to do... but I seem to have developed an aversion to paint rollers/ brushes/ paint etc ;)

Plastered

2007-04-28T10:28:00.000+01:00

I don't think I'm ever going to get any work done to my house ever again. Two reasons for this 1) I won't be able to afford to after this week 2) the stress/dust/ and effort in chasing people to do things has led to a greying around the temples ;) I think next time I want something doing... I'll just move house.

So I had the boiler moved/ replaced... and I was left with a hole in the chimney breast where the boiler used to be... and an airing cupboard without anything in it... so I had the hole bricked up.. and the cupboard removed. I also had some extra sockets put in while the flooring was up. Then the plaster started dropping off the wall. Such fun. So I had to locate a plasterer at VERY short notice... as the builder said there was now too much for him to plaster. Now I need to get the room replastered.. before I can decorate.. and I need to decorate before I can have the new floor laid. I have the flooring... I have someone on stand by to fit the flooring... I have the paint and I have (make that HAD) a very kind friend who was coming to help me this weekend to paint... but I had no plasterer.

This is set against the backdrop of water leak in the kitchen and having to work round appliances in the middle of the floor while the floorboards elsewhere dry out. Plus I'm having the bathroom replaced .. and I've had no bath/shower for 10 days! (longer than expected thanks to the discovery of rotten floor joists etc etc... )

I used to have a bathroom.....

Yes... next time.... I'm definitely moving instead ;)

Whether you believe in Pixies....

2007-04-21T11:29:00.000+01:00

You may note a new addition to my website... in the form of my very own Weather Pixie.
www.weatherpixie.com
Having seen it featured on Click the BBC News IT video strand http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/default.stm I decided to look at the site. It allows you to add a Pixie for somewhere near your current location with up to date weather information. Apparently when the weather conditions alter... the Pixie's clothes alter as well.

Yes yes... ok so I was bored ;)

Boing

2007-04-14T17:29:00.000+01:00

There is something about this time of year.... as spring heads towards summer that I really find uplifting.

The sudden burst of colour that the daffodils and crocus flowers provided a few weeks ago, giving way to the blossom of the fruit trees which seems to light up the garden somehow.

There is also something quite magical .. on a blustery spring night with a bright moon .. stood in the orchard watching the blossom petals fall like a snow flurry as they catch the light from the moon as they fall.

No... I've not been drinking! .. Can't a man marvel at the wonders of nature without his friends assuming he's been at the vodka?? ;)

No.. I thought not.

dust .... pipes.... and holes

2007-04-10T23:30:00.000+01:00

Just some of the excitement you can expect when having your boiler replaced.
I am without heat or hot water until tomorrow... half my floor boards have been ripped up. the dog thinks I've finally lost my remaining marble...and the cat is eyeing the hole, where the boiler/ gas fire used to be, with suspicion... or perhaps she's just considering it as a future place for a litter tray.

Oh yes.... and a Clapped out old boiler. (No mother-in-law jokes please, unless you are the reincarnation of Les Dawson)

To hell with tradition

2007-04-01T18:53:00.000+01:00

To me ... this is much better than the old one.http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6516235.stm

Curse you internet sales

2007-03-31T00:16:00.000+01:00

There I was... minding my own business...harming no one.. and having a fairly productive and frugal day. After all.. some of us have plumbing to pay for. Then an e-mail, from an online purveyor of dvds, fell onto my electronic door mat. . I should have ignored it.... maybe even sent it straight into the "deleted items" folder....but by crafty use of the word "sale" in the subject bar... I was drawn to it.. "come on... open it.. you know you want to" it seemed to say... and indeed I did.

4 dvd box sets and £96 pounds later... I returned to my morning's work. *cough*

And for those of you wanting to know such things:
Doctor who season 1
West Wing seasons 5 and 6
Simpsons season 8

Productive - ish

2007-03-31T00:08:00.000+01:00

Well it's been an interesting week.... well kind of. Well ok..ok.. not really. It has been productive rather than interesting.

I jet washed the patio and the paths round the house... I successfully got them clean after 2 1/2 hrs of hose action :) .. I know this because I seemed to end up with most of the dirt on me instead ... which was nice. Now just the decking to do.. I can hear the gasps of excitement from here.

I had a quote for a new boiler... and I discovered a few things:
1) the quote was slightly less than I was expecting which is good
2) most of my hot water pipes are lead which is bad (although not as bad as I thought it sounded apparently (lead and pipes are two words that I just don't like when placed together... call me old fashioned)
3) there is bound to be a cold snap when the work is being done...(the law of the sod) and I will be without hot water or heating for a couple of days... and shall be huddled round a candle for warmth (cue faint violin music) bad
4) I'm going to have a wireless thermostat! (swank... pure swank)

The quote for my bathroom replacement finally arrived. The envelope it came in didn't instruct me to sit down before opening it... which I think was a mistake... There's clearly a gap in the market... pre marked envelopes with warnings/ suggestions "don't open if you are of a nervous disposition" "make sure you're sitting down with a strong cup of tea first" "Yes, its a bill.. brace yourself" "I'm junk mail from a company you've never heard of. . I wouldn;t blame you for bining me either. "
Lets just say.... I'm now on the look out for a more ...er.. reasonably priced bathroom installation .. *cough* I have a little man coming round for just that purpose on Monday. I say "little".. as his nickname is "titch" apparently... I await to see if the term is ironic or not.

The spare room... is now finally beginning to resemble a bedroom again. Given the number of boxes piled up in there it had taken on the look of a DHL warehouse... even after a trip to the local tip with a car load of stuff.. there is still a lot of work to do.. It's amazing the amount of crap that had collected in there... I told myself to be ruthless ... it's just I ended up with a bin sack full of paperwork that needed shredding for a start... now I just have to get a hamster in need of shredded paper bedding ;)

The joy of .... call centres

2007-03-26T15:38:00.000+01:00

Having just been on hold to my mobile phone provider, the art of good customer service is clearly employing a well spoken woman and asking her to record the following messages.

"Thank you for calling *insert name of company here*
Please ensure you have all the following information we require... if not bugger off until you do.
*reads list of information you need to hand*
*pause*
Oh you've got all of it have you?
Are you SURE ?
We will talk to you in a patronising way and make you feel like a naughty 5 year old if it turns out you don't you know.
Are you willing to take the risk?... well are you?!
*another pause*
Still there?
Well don't say I didn't warn you.
Please hold while one of our highly trained under paid call centre monkeys will rush to your aid... either that or we'll stick you in a queue.
And no moaning at the back there... it's either a queue or we transfer you to a call centre in
Bangalore (happy now Glenn?), where a very polite Indian lady or gentleman will read a series of questions to you off their computer screen. They will continue to read the same question, until you provide an answer they understand well enough to match one of the permitted responses listed on the computer screen in front of them.... if you don't answer the question in the required way.. she/he WILL keep asking it.. over and over ...and over until you cry with frustration and hang up.

Please hold

You will now get a 20 second burst of a relatively recent piece of music, I will then come back on the line to offer an apology, tell you that we are "currently" experiencing a very high number of calls.. This is to:
a) assure you that we are a big company with lots of customers and
b) stress the idea that you've just been unfortunate to call at the one time this week where we've had insuffient staff to answer calls speedily
(despite the fact that we actually play the same message whenever you call because we never have enough staff and you'll always have to queue)
Then you'll get another 20 second burst of music... and another message from me.
This pattern will then continue for the next few minutes / hours depending on how busy we genuinely are.
Hey.. it could be worse...just be thankful that in this case you've managed to find a freephone number to call, most of our lines actually charge you a premium to call us, and we make a profit from you via your phone company for every minute you are on the line to us... yes even while you are in a queue. *manic laughter* *cough* er... But I'd like to assure you again that we are committed to fantastic customer service.
You can't tell but I'm saying all this with a straight face.. I should win an Oscar... I'd like to see Helen Mirren stuck in a booth with a microphone and asked to muster fake sincerity for what I'm being paid.. .

Please hold.

Remember .... if we don't "inadvertently" manage to cut you off just as someone is about to answer.... rest assured that just when your arm has gone to sleep, having been holding the phone to your ear for half the morning/ afternoon/ evening... or better still just as you've taken a bite from your lunch, which you've been eyeing on your desk and regretting not eating before you dialled our number, someone will answer.

Once again...thank you for calling *insert name of company*

Cheer up... it's a celebration

2007-03-25T17:47:00.000+01:00

Next was Ben's birthday... Yes that is a Scooby Do cake... and yes Mike does look bored. Not sure me buying "party blowers" was such a good idea.... The whole evening was ruined by the lack of Brie Wedges ... ;)

Four months...

2007-03-25T17:13:00.000+01:00

A lot can happen in four months... and I'm sure it has. Those skilled in such things, may have noticed I've not posted for a while ... what do you mean you didn't ? ;) There is nothing quite like having your ego stroked.

Anyway.. "what has been happening?" I hear you cry. Well Christmas came and went.. (as it as a habit of doing).

My friend came from London, which was an interesting experience. He spent most of his time abusing my interent connection... much to the interest of the dog. We also travelled to Grimsby for the day to see his family (not my dog's family .. no) .. which was another interesting expereince.

And for those of you keeping track of such things.. yes the cake was decorated and then eaten.

No sooner had 2007 thrust itself upon us.... than my birthday arrived and vanished with alarming speed...

Ben's handwriting skills were put to the test with the lettering on my cake, although it was about 1am before anyone remembered we hadn't actually seen the cake, much less eaten any.

However the shame of my dessert arriving at the table in the restaurant, complete with several lighted candles - thus prompting the dimming of the lights and a rendition of Happy Birthday by friends/ staff and I fear ... other customers... is a moment that will stay with me... and in my nightmares for a while to come ;) I would like to thank everyone who made the effort to turn up that evening. It was lovely to see you all.

It's been a funny old week

2006-11-26T01:15:00.000Z

No really it has... :

Pink things at work.. *most usual*

A film managed to both disappoint and impress me at the same time (the new Bond... cracking film.. but more Bourne than Bond .. which isn't a critiscm, just an observation. A good re start to the franchise... but the geek in me though it wasn't quite Bond enough......

A friend had his block of flats driven into by someone (possibly the fact they were being chased by uniformed men/women in vehicles with those flashing blue lights on the top .. distracted them and they momentarily forgot what was road... and what was building)

Another friend was cyber stalked and harangued .. as if his life could get any more surreal ...

We also had cardboard things at work again *most usual*

I managed to get my face on the front page of the local paper ( oh the horror - and no it wasn't intentional... nor was it a photofit... before anyone says anything)

But in other matters... I'm being a bit distracted (in a good way) at the moment... which I'm really quite happy about :) I'm even looking forward to Christmas more than usual. I must be coming down with something.....

Booze sodden fruit

2006-11-10T23:26:00.000Z

But enough about my friends.

The build upto Christmas always seems to start, for me at least, with the smell of fruit soaked in alcohol. First there's the Christmas cake to make and then the puddings. I've been making the family christmas cake since I was 14, and although I've not really got a family to make one for anymore, I still make one and force feed friends with it. Gran always used to say, the secret to a good Christmas cake... more fruit than cake and more booze than fruit.

Anyway, Exhibit 1 : the murder weapon.

You could probably do someone "a mischief " with that. Or you could cover it in almond paste and icing and stick "novelty festive decorations"on top... I shall take a phone vote as to which is the better option .

Text the word CAKE followed by the words DO A MISCHIEF
or PLASTIC FATHER CHRISTMAS
to 87988.

Texts will be charged at £9.50 plus standard network charge, all money raised going to the "Let's stop TV companies using this sort of thing as a tax on stupid people" Fund.

Boom banger bangers....

2006-11-05T15:08:00.000Z

yes yes I know it's been days/ weeks since my last confession...er I mean post. I have such a dull life .. *sniff* :)

Anyway embracing the November tradition of celebrating when a bearded catholic was thwarted in his attempt to blow up parliament 400 years ago... some friends came round last night to enjoy a rather lacklustre firework display in my garden.

We also ate a large number of sausages ( amongst other things) ... so fireworks (bangers) and sausages (also bangers)... that explains part of this post's title.... and as for the rest of it... think of an obscure and rather geeky Eurovision song contest reference.... ..(feel free to groan at the appalling humour when you get the pun) .. and that brings me on to the second part of the evening... we played Sing star on the PS2.

Let's just say... it was interesting. I can't remember too much about it because I was still in shock from Ben agreeing to join in for the first time. I murdered a couple of "classics" .. I don't think "Imagine" or "Starman" will ever sound the same again:) Still another good evening. They should bring out an ABBA singstar... ;)

Alcoholic

2006-10-11T23:24:00.000+01:00

Why do dentists always start asking you things when they have 3 sharp implements and at least one of their hands in your mouth? ;) Do they learn this at special Dentist school? It's definitely a skill.

I like my dentist, no seriously I do. She seems like a really nice lady, even when she's causing me pain and charging me for the privilege. I'm sure that's meant to be illegal.

Anyway..I had a sore throat and gum so booked an appointment today and had it checked out. I might have a slight infection so a course of antibiotics for me and no alcohol for a week. A whole WEEK without booze! I'll be a wreck. :)

Those who know me well know that I hardly ever drink. In fact only a few people have seen me drunk in my entire life (doesn't take much.. I'm a cheap date) .. the one's who have seen me the worse for drink... have found it worryingly amusing. If I'm on call with work, then I can't drink, and when I'm off call it means I'm usually going out, and if I go out it means I'm driving.. so I don't drink. Do you detect a pattern? ;)

2006-10-09T15:36:00.000+01:00

On the way home we got off the motorway to avoid an alleged queue further up the M6, visited a shopping village and went for a walk around a lake that Paul recommended at Trentham. http://www.trenthamleisure.co.uk/wood.html

As you can see we found a cafe .. so all was well. Ben has his best "oh god not another photo" look on his face and Mike was far too busy to notice the dodgy man with a camera phone. And no, Paul was not hiding under the table. :)

Grand Designs on your bank balance

2006-10-09T15:07:00.000+01:00

On Saturday, Ben, Mike, Paul and myself went to Birmingham to the NEC to see Grand Designs Live. A spin off from the "popular Channel 4 show" Grand designs. http://www.channel4.com/4homes/ontv/grand-designs/index.html
Basically we paid £12.00 (+ booking fee) to visit an aircraft hanger where people tried tomake us buy things for home and garden. I'm selling this well aren't I? :)

There were some fantastic design ideas, usually at astronomical prices, and some down right daft ones...
The office in a bag .. the office, ceiling, walls, lights and seating were all inflatable and so would roll up into a bag for transportation..... Here we see Ben, taking the weight off his wallet.

A company who made designer radiators.... you could tell what this was meant to be even before you read the name to the side of it. In case you can't make it out.. the name says "Madonna". well an interesting place to dry your bath towel I guess :)

It was an interesting and enjoyable day, but I didn't buy anything. Mainly because I may have needed to re-mortgage my house in order to afford something :)

Don't pretend you missed me ;)

2006-10-09T14:57:00.000+01:00

I know there are countless people out there hanging on my every word, and therefore huge numbers who have been feeling distraught that I haven't posted for a while. In fact I think only one person noticed and bothered to say anything... hello Al.. I hope the trip's going well. Al is on a round the world trip, taking the joy of the oven chip to all corners of the globe... or something like that :)

Anyway.. I've been busy. Sadly only with work. When things go like that then there really isn't much time/ opportunity to do anything social, much less bore you good people by writing about it :) Sorry about that.... please try not to cry too much.

Anyway... just like a seemingly done for villain at the end of an overly long and complicated action sequence... I'm back:)

When is a TV movie.... not a TV movie?

2006-09-20T23:46:00.001+01:00

When it's got a cracking cast, a good script and a award winning film director I guess.

The Queen

http://www.thequeenmovie.co.uk/

A performance by Helen Mirren in the title role that must surely earn her BAFTA and Oscar nominations , if academy memories are good enough come next year.

On a side issue, Odeon http://www.odeon.co.uk/ are still showing the Superman version of the anti film piracy trail before all their movies at the moment. Clips of "Superman Returns" pepper the trail...in increasingly poor quality/ reduced size, supposedly highlighting what those choosing to buy dodgy carboot/ street corner DVD copies are putting up with. Forgoing, for example, the "Stunning visuals" of which the trail boasts. It ends with the tag line "it's the experience that counts".

Somewhat ironic when you consider I went to see Superman Returns at that very cinema and had to endure the film repeatedly going out of focus.. then having to wait a few minutes (squinting all the way) for a member of staff to come and adjust it again.. only to find the focus slipping once more a few minutes later. This process was repeated throughout the showing. Several customers left the screen to complain and to ask for a member of staff to fix the problem .. however when the film ended all members of staff were surprisingly "busy else where". The foyer, box office and corridors were all akin to the Mary Celeste (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Celeste) on the Odeon employee front. Odd that... almost as if they knew people might complain and ask for an apology or their money back ;) Cynical? Me?! Never :)

I sent an e-mail to customer services, a week later the reply arrived informing me that"the cause of this was due to the print physically 'shedding' its coating. This results in the film going out of focus as the dirt sits between the film and the gate causing focus problems. This can only be compensated for by the projectionist so much which is why you may have seen intermittent 'fuzziness'. The problem with shedding is suprisingly common and all we can do is make sure everything is as clean as possible before shows and that if a print is particularly bad then try to get the distributor to replace it. Generally it occurs and then naturally stops after its first few runs through a projector but with the recent high temperatures / humidity within the projection rooms the problems have become evident on screen to our guests"

A new one on me it has to be said, blaming a heat wave for damaging something designed to pass in front of a painfully hot bulb in the projector several times a day.. was intersting. But whatever the reason, they clearly knew there was an issue beforehand and a warning when purchasing the tickets might have been good (and basic) customer service .... after all it is the "experience that counts".

Ooooh spooky

2006-09-10T01:17:00.000+01:00

Well not really, it's just a fullish moon and some clouds...
as seen from my garden tonight

But I rather liked the look of it .

Look... I never claimed this blog would be interesting :)

This week : the invention of fire ....

2006-09-10T01:01:00.000+01:00

next week : the wheel .

A local man this evening evented fire...
....as can be seen here by his impressive glowing stick.

Either that or it's a budget olympic torch .

Ben and Mike came round to watch the Last Night of the Proms, given the weather we thought we'd get into the spirit of "Prawns in the Park" and have "Prats on the decking" and watch the event in my garden instead. Ben took charge of burning things .. thankfully only in the chimnea.. and enjoyed setting things on fire and showing us... oooh such fun. "can you spell pyromaniac in the making? ... Ben can. Clever Ben" (that's two references to Terry Wogan and his Radio 2 breakfast show in one post.. I must be a TOG candidate by now - ok 3 references)

The world's gone mad

2006-09-07T19:59:00.000+01:00

well maybe just little bits of it... or in this case just a certain well know Swedish furniture retailer. There I was minding my own business, buying a new coffee table. All seemed business as usual. I have shopped there before... if fact I don;t think there is a room in my house that hasn't got something on floor, walls or ceiling that hasn't previously been in the IKEA stock room.

I loaded the cardboard wrapped item in the back of the car, drove it home (via a slight detour to the cinema.. more of that later , if I can be bothered boring you with yet more tedium) got it home and un packed it and readied myself to "assemble".

It's then that it happened.

Not quite a reversal of the earths magnetic field..
nor a shifting of the poles....
but trust me...
in my kitchen, at 11.15pm something shocking happened.

There was no Allen Key!! *gasp*... and not only there was no Allen key.. but there was nothing requiring the use of an Allen key either! I considered alerting the UN.. or at the very least the DTI.

I thought it was Swedish law that said every item sold in IKEA has to come with an Allen key. I'm sure candles I've bought from there have had little metal keys selotaped to the wax... "just in case"

In fact the whole thing went together with only a screwdriver ( and a pair of pliers - not mentioned in the instructions but required ) and a fair degree of sprawling on the carpet. It took me a while to recover from the shock.

Hold your plums

2006-08-29T21:56:00.000+01:00

Well I couldn't in the end... I had to use a bowl.

At this rate there will be plum jam, plum crumble, plums on toast, sweet and sour plums and plum casserole!

I love having fruit trees in the garden really :) As does the dog who eats the wind falls...
I don't know about wind FALLS... he could power a wind FARM with the result of his fruit munching at the moment

*holds nose*

If you go down to the woods...

2006-08-28T10:28:00.000+01:00

Well making the most of semi decent weather on Sunday afternoon, and both finding ourselves short of something to do, Paul and I went for a walk exploring the local(ish) countryside.

First a nearby deer park and then a country park which had some rather interesting residents.

Not quite sure what it's meant to be.. "Old man of the woods: holding his acorns" ...or some such. And then of course...there was the carving as well ;) Sorry Paul. :)

Queen unearthed with JCB

2006-08-26T21:49:00.000+01:00

Well.... sort of....maybe.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5288032.stm

Time Team, a programme on CH4 about digging things up (of an old and possibly interesting nature) and hosted by Tony "turnip" Robinson, has returned for a bank holiday type special thingamy.

He is usually surrounded by middle aged men with big beards and multi coloured jumpers. ( no, not Noel Edmonds... he was dug up sometime last year, also by Ch4 oddly enough.. tho possibly not with a JCB)

http://www.channel4.com/history/timeteam/

They are VERY NEATLY digging up bits of the grounds of 3 royal castles to
see if they can find some old walls and bits of plaster. I assume they will have to put everything back exactly where they found it.. or else the head of Ch4 will be locked in the Tower. Now there's public service broadcasting.

Dog shaped pillow

2006-08-26T21:31:00.000+01:00

or maybe a cat shaped back pack?

Yes it's been a slow blogging week.. I'm posting more pictures of the animals!

To Ipod or not to Ipod....

2006-08-26T21:20:00.000+01:00

.. that is the question.

Well perhaps not "THE" question... but certainly "A" question.
I don't have a portable MP3 player... and everywhere I turn at them moment friends are telling me how wonderful they are.... damn them:)

I'm trying very hard to tell myself that this new desire on my part is just the result of having had a bad week and wanting a new toy... .. ;) Must resist... must resist.....

2006-08-23T17:47:00.000+01:00

I saw this in a car while in North Wales the other week.

Yes.... I am easily amused :)

Infectious

2006-08-23T17:19:00.000+01:00

My man flu ..er.. I mean cold... yes that's right "Cold"... had all but gone by Monday.. however it's effects are still being felt . It's the gift that keeps on giving... and I seem to have been handing it out over the weekend. So far 2 of the 6 friends who joined me to celebrate Kev's birthday have waved the white and somewhat snotty flag of surrender and fallen under it's spell. Paul has been milking the sympathy vote for all that its worth and playing the "guilt trip" card in the style of the Joker in "It's a Knock out". It is working as well .. and I feel suitably ashamed and apologetic. However much Paul is laying it on with a trowel... making me want to hang my head in shame.... this is nothing to the pain and suffering I will be subjected to if Kev doesn't recover from the cold in time for his birthday tomorrow.

I may never hear the end of it... ;)

Why do dogs...

2006-08-21T18:40:00.000+01:00

... always try to sleep in the most uncomfortable of places?

I hardly think my shoes can really hold that much of an appeal. Mad dog :)

Still at it...

2006-08-21T17:16:00.000+01:00

... the following morning.

The poor man.... he must still have been drunk :)

Birthday Parties R US

2006-08-21T09:10:00.000+01:00

It was Kev's birthday this weekend. (well it's more his birthday "period" really.... as each year the celebrations seem to last a little longer... ) He'll be 30 on Thursday ... ah the youngster *casts mind back to being 30*... anyway we were graced with his presence just long enough for him to have food, cards and presents . lol

He'd requested a BBQ and an evening spent on the decking.... but given the wonderful weather *cough*... it was less BBQ.. more "things cooked in the oven.. and sitting in the dining room"
Arno kindly helped with the cooking.. as I was in danger of sneezing over everything ... and John came from Leeds.. risking public transport (brave man). Ben and Mike turned up and Paul joined us as well and managed to survive the food... a game of Articulate (with a somewhat drunk Dutch person... I mention no names ;) ).. and 6 hours of singstar! Yes SIX! Dear lord... All I can say is that I am VERY glad my house is detached... I like my neighbours and I believe 6 hours of singstar might be against the Geneva convention.

Everyone seemed to have a good time.. and Kev had a good start to his birtday week I hope :)

Man flu

2006-08-19T11:33:00.000+01:00

well not really... I mean I know its a cold... it's not stopping me from doing anything.. it's just making me feel like crap in the process. Dad didn't buy me anything when he went on holiday last week ... but this doesn't mean he didn't bring me anything back. Thanks dad . *sneeze*

The main problem I have with a cold is the fact I cant sleep properly when I have one... which makes things seem much worse.. and I tend to get a little cranky ;)

Is that violin music I can hear? ;) No thought not :)

Tony Robinson, eat your heart out

2006-08-19T10:28:00.000+01:00

For longer than I care to remember (ie I'm now feeling old) 'Thursday evening' has meant 'pub with Ben and Mike'. It used to include Phil... but he moved to Liverpool with his wife.. and despite assurances that he'd still turn up every week... I think in 3 years he's managed it once. ;)
Thursday night traditions also include.. Ben's selective hearing relating to crisp ordering, It used to be that "Cheese and Onion" would always come back as "Salt and vinegar" .. and now everything comes back as "Quavers"... a dodgy PA system which deafens the entire pub when the staff are trying to call last orders...(why they can't have a bell like normal pubs is a mystery) and Mike playing with his candle and getting wax all over the table.
This isn't a euphemism... ;)

All I can suggest it that given the conversation is so dull ... and with the whole moth to a flame principle these two combine to make playing with wax appealing . I'm not entirely innocent in this regard either... many a good candle has been ruined by careful use of a straw to make holes in the sides ... all in the name of modern art of course...

This Thursday Mike made a startling discovery... I just hope you are sitting down.

You've heard of Stonehenge.

You're probably aware of the concept of Woodhenge.

Brace yourself for ...

Waxhenge.

Yes .. Thursday nights in the pub are THRILLING ;)

Porcine free zone

2006-08-14T11:02:00.000+01:00

A friend suggested that the picture of my dog from a couple of days ago made him look like a pig! I think that says more about his eyesight than the dog's appearance... but just to limit the dog's embarrassment.. here is another one.. definitely non pig like...

When is a car wash, not a car wash?

2006-08-13T23:18:00.000+01:00

When it's a dishwasher apparently.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4777351.stm

I guess if you left the windows open .. and put them on the back seats... you could get your pans clean at the same time. ;o)

Looks like something that would have been on "Tomorrow's World" in 1977. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomorrow's_World

I'm not sure which is more startling... the idea of a dishwasher for a car.... or the fact it's inflatable!

PS... Bring back Judith Hann

Public service announcement

2006-08-12T18:04:00.000+01:00

http://www.ceilingcat.com/

The public are advised to take all necessary precautions.

Weekend again.

2006-08-12T10:55:00.000+01:00

The fact that weekends seem to come round at a faster rate than ever before... might be a sign of impending old age I guess. This was a topic under discussion with my friend Paul.. since I'm already a member of the National Trust, into gardening and a keen listener of Radios 2 and 4 ... he did wonder what I'd be doing when I actually reached middle age ;0) He's SUCH a charmer.

The aforementioned Paul came round last night for a very nice shredded duck from the local Chinese restuarant, a chat (well ok gossip) and an attempt to thrash me at table tennis on the X-box 360 http://www.play.com/Games/Xbox360/back/3-/918089/Table_Tennis/Product.html
Despite playing as a rather annoying French character called "Luc" with a terrible pony tail which made you want to get out a hedge trimmer everytime you noticed it... Paul did manage to beat me on one occasion. I blamed the cat... the huge quantity of duck I'd just eaten.. the fact it was late .. the position of the lunar cycle and finally the controller ;o) An inept workman always blames his tools, and if that fails... the cat.

Family value(s)

2006-08-11T12:36:00.000+01:00

Well my family tend to put the "fun" into dysfunctional... only er.. well without the fun bit ;o) I've not got much a family left... an only child (start the violins now ;o) ) and those I've been close to are no longer here: mum, grandparents, etc. In fact I think the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death after a long, painful and debilitating battle with a terminal illness is, if I'm honest with myself, one of the reasons so many things have come into focus/ become subject to revaluation this year.

But what of the rest of my family... ? well my relationship with my father is somewhat fractious at the best of times and we haven't been close since my parents split when I was 11. His new wife , despite my best efforts, has never warmed to me as a person... and persists in viewing me as some sort of irritating appendage to her life that she'd rather have removed. Not sure she'd resort to a chainsaw... but there is always a possibility ;o) hehe.

I have some fantastic friends who are almost a replacement family for me.. and I can't thank some of them enough for being understanding and caring.

And I have the animals... talking of which.. its about time they had a mention. Both fantastic company.. (although the cat's nothing sort of eccentric and the dog is, and always has been, nutty - were they sane before coming to live with me? now that's a question ;o)) They get on fantastically well.. even now the dog's struggling with the effects of old age they are still a highpoint of any day.

Selling myself....

2006-08-11T11:03:00.000+01:00

No... NOT like that... dirty minded people ;o)

I was referring to the art form that is CV writing. I've never had to write one before... I walked straight from education and into a job, a job which evolved over the following years and expanded without the need for interviews or having to "sell" myself and my abilities to a group of strangers.

What are my abilities and how can they been made to seem applicable to other careers? That is the challenge. Anyway CV #1 has now been written and tweaked (thanks Kev) ... it's odd I'd helped with other people's CV's and job applications and I'm relatively good at offering sensible and practical advice to others.. but when it comes to thinking of things relating to me.... that's a different kettle of herrings .

I've never been good at talking myself up. I have skills.. and I guess I'm seen by most as a driven and highly conscientious person committed to getting the best out of my team while maintaining a good relationship with them... but wording something like that.. just seems odd. Accurate.. but odd :)

Ding Ding... all change

2006-08-10T18:04:00.000+01:00

Well what can I say... it's been all go since I last bored you into coma ;o)

I decided I wanted a new job... ( search ongoing) ... There must be something out there that doesn't drive me to distraction and force all other aspects of my life into submission. Well I can hope.

I cut my hair shorter than it's been at anytime since birth and was nicknamed "Hedgehog" for my troubles.... thanks Matt ;o)

Perhaps I'm having a very (VERY *cough*) early midlife crisis.... should I buy a sports car and start dating much younger women!? Hmmm somehow I doubt either of those are going to happen.

When you take a big decision, one which impacts on so many areas of your life....(no I'm not talking about the haircut!) it does cause a revaluation of what's important and what it may be time to let go of. Aspects of life which you always thought were fixed points are viewed with new eyes, and some are no longer quite as pot riveted as once was thought.

For once a degree of uncertainty in my future isn't entirely filling me with dread.... sure there's a degree of apprehension and my usual tendencey to over think everything is still lurking in the back ground... but there's also a sense of excitement and challenge as well. Which is quite invigorating :o)

I think I'm over doing the HRT patches ;o)

Well I'm back.... and is it about time (?)

2006-08-10T17:53:00.000+01:00

Well not really. I mean I am ..er.. back... but since so few people were stumbling over this tiny speedbump in cyberspace I doubt anyone noticed I'd vanished . ;o) Ego bashing will commence on the count of three...

One....
Two....

Oh... and while I remember... you can blame Dan . It's all his fault.. ALL of it.. Invasion of Poland, development of the atom bomb.... Anthea Turner... yes all these crimes against humanity can be traced right back to Mr. H.
More specifically.. he's shamed me into dusting off the blog again.

You'll find his amusing ramblings linked to the left of this text...

Well I'm back..... so now what....

Is this thing on? *taps screen*..... :o)

...up in the world

2005-11-02T22:02:00.000Z

On Sunday I went into Manchester on the tram to meet my friend John for lunch. His train was an hour late ... which, given his job, and his preaching about public transport, was somewhat amusing :-)

We had a nice lunch and then went for a wander round the city centre... a trip to find some Snoopy-esque items that he wanted to look at again in the Urbis shop..( www.urbis.org.uk ) which oddly looked...er.. well NOTHING like Snoopy - no matter how much John attempted to squash said animal into a more recognisable shape. ;-)

We then took a ride on Manchester's new "London eye" rip off ... Some very interesting views of the air conditioning units on top of Selfridges awaited us. No actually it was quite good... an interesting experience.. but not one I'd rush to repeat too quickly.
I only had my phone cam with me.. but the pictures came out relatively well I guess.

2005-10-29T13:10:00.000+01:00

Well it's been almost a month since I last blogged.. I can't work out if I've been busy or just too lazy to put anything down on here :-) Anyway, I've had a good week, relaxing (or trying to) away from work. Monday was spent with Arno, who, it transpires, isn't the world's most proficient map reader.... :D We went to Yorkshire for the day, and somehow ended up in Sheffield, where Arno attempted to befriend the squirrels...

Then it was back to the 'Palace of the flat pack' (IKEA) to buy some items for his new flat.. and then I helped him build a couple of them. (when he wasn't on the phone watching me work that is) ;-)

Wednesday I met my friend Matt for the first time in the 7 years we've known each other.. we went out for lunch and I ruined all his favourite sayings (sorry Matt :D) he also knows Arno... and so he had to put up with both of us for the evening..(Poor Arno)..we picked him up from work and drove him to his flat. He cooked... Matt and I built a bookshelf... Matt got an asthma attack and nearly died... but it was worth it.. the bookshelf looks great ;-) "woo hoo".

Thursday was spent with Mike and Ben in North Wales. I set off and the weather was cold and wet.... by the time I got there, the sun was out and it was 21 degrees (In the UK .. in October!!) So.. I began to think that taking my big waterproof coat with me was not the best idea I've ever had lol. We wandered around Bangor and went to the castle. Pictures below.

We then had a wander along the beach.. near Caernarfon, watching the sun go down.
It was really quite windy and the sea looked rough.. not that the picture does it justice really. Ben and I sat on the pebble sea defences watching the waves.. it was remarkably restful. Then it was time for the 2hr drive home to Cheshire.

2005-09-29T13:19:00.000+01:00

Well Autumn is well and truly here in the UK. The leaves are changing colour, kids are hunting for conkers (It's always amazes me how that school yard game manages to survive in the days of mobile phones and PS2s - maybe I'm just bitter.. I was always terrible at it ;-) ) and the heating has been switched on most evenings. Yesterday it didn't even get above 10 C outside. The cat stayed glued to the bean bag for most of it.. pretty soon she will be back to her usual autumn/winter position... in the window, behind the curtain... feet dangling over the edge to get the warm air from the radiator below. She is FAR from stupid :-) Now the dog on the other hand....

Talking of stupidity...I managed to miss my 6 monthly dentist appointment... In my defence I genuinely thought it was on Wednesday morning, and it was only when I rang to check the appointment time, that I was informed I should have been there on Monday. Doh! I grovelled a form of apology.. and I'll just have to hope they don't fine me for a missed appointment .

It's been a quiet week on the whole, unless you count work, where things were very hectic on Monday/ Tuesday. Next week looks set to be even busier.. when, due to holidays, I end up doing someone else's job as well as my own for a 8 days. Is it too late to clone a mini-me in time for Monday do you think? :-)

2005-09-21T23:52:00.000+01:00

Well I have just returned from the cinema having seen "Pride and Prejudice" http://java.europe.yahoo.com/uk/uip/prideandprejudice/site/flashSite.htm
Well I never claimed to have a uniform taste in films you know;-)
The cinema was packed.... full mainly of er.."ladies of a certain age".. shall we say. My friends and I felt like we had stumbled into a meeting of the Women's Institute. One of my mates remarked on the "old lady smell". Quite what that is... or how he knows what old ladies smell like.... he failed to mention. :-) Anyway.. we fought our way past the home make jam and chutney stall on the way out.. and drove home without singing Jerusalem once.

The film was actually better than I expected.. I really rather enjoyed it. I've not read the book since I was at school... I don't think we studied it.. but I read it anyway...and there you were thinking I was an uncultured, larger, swilling yob :-)

2005-09-21T08:47:00.000+01:00

Well it's only been a few short days.. and already my good intentions have already flown out of the proverbial window. Yes yes I should have blogged... at least at some point over the weekend.. and I didn't.Well nothing overly exciting happened.. although the weekend did seem to pass remarkably quickly. I made a cheesecake.... which seemed far larger when I finished... than I had been expecting. I ended up giving a lot of it away to a friend. lol I watched "Anchorman" on DVD again inspired by having seen "40 year old Virgin" at the cinema a few days earlier. Having seen it .. I did consider chaging my MSM log in name to "Tits Magee".. but only very briefly ;-) If you like the Austin Powers films... then I would recommend Anchorman as something to look out for.

I have a Labrador... he's lovely .. I've had him for 12 years.. and has been with me through some of the most difficult periods of my life...for example....when I had the call at 5.am on a July morning 9 years ago, from the hospital to tell me my mother had passed away... I took him on a very long walk.. right through the woods on the other side of the village... it was great.. just to clear my head.. come to terms with things .. with Ruf bounding along beside me. Sadly after an operation last year to remove a few cancerous lumps.. he really slowed down ( mostly due to his age... 12 is old for a Lab)... he potters around in the garden... but gets tired very easily on walks... and ends up dragging his paws after only a few hundred meters... so I've stopped taking him. His health has really started to slip recently... but he seems very happy .. as always...but I guess it's dawning on me that he probably won't be with me for that much longer. An end of an era approaches.... and era that marked big turning points in my life... but all things come to an end. As long as he stays happy and pain free and loved.. then I guess that's the best anyone can do for him.

2005-09-17T00:25:00.000+01:00

Well it's been a fairly uneventful day... spent this afternoon "autumn" cleaning part of the house.. managed to fill an entire bin sack. Of course, next week, I'm bound to discover I've thrown out something I desperately need ;-)

I also had a brief trip to the supermarket...which seemed to be missing almost every item I'd decided I wanted to buy..... and earlier spent the best part of 2 hours rummaging through my old CD singles putting the half decent tracks into itunes on the laptop. It's amazing the amount of Cr*p I've bought over the years.. I would like to make it clear that any dodgy CD choices I may have made.... were ENTIRELY the responsibility of Andy. He'd say .. "oh that's really good" or "you'd like that one". Cretin that I am.... I used to fall for it!. That is my only excuse. Feeble .. but I am sticking to it ;-)

2005-09-16T08:15:00.000+01:00

Well it's Friday morning, it's feeling remarkably autumnal already.. "season of mists and mellow fruitfulness" and all that. Well it's certainly misty and there have been windfall apples all over the lawn for the past couple of weeks.. so I guess that fits in. I do like Autumn tho.. the changing leaves .. the wind.. and yes.. even the rain to some extent. Always brings back childhood memories.

I have a dog addicted to fruit.. apples in particular, but he's happy to eat the fallen pears and plums as well. He's always been somewhat odd. He also has a thing for iceberg lettuce! I do wonder if my animals were mad before them came to live with me.. or has my influence slowly eroded their sanity? :-)

Well... I ended up in the pub last night.. as usually happens on a Thursday. The place always seems to get busier as we approach the end of summer and the students getting ready to go back to UNI. We did manage to find a table.. and so were able to have a decent conversation ( god that makes me sound old ;-) ) Mike spent the evening playing with the candle on the table ( another Thursday night tradition)... managing to get hot wax all over the place and himself. This is also a regular occurrence.. he clearly needs something to keep his hands occupied (Insert joke here).

2005-09-16T07:39:00.000+01:00

Well all blogs have to start somewhere.. and I suppose this is a good a place as any.

I freely admit this is an experiment ... I may blog for a couple of days and then leave it for a week... then another... and finally get to the point where I've forgotten my log in details and a layer of dust will form over this page.. and here it will remain.. cluttering up cyber space.

I'm rambling.. ( this, "dear reader" will be a feature of my blog) I feely admit...I have a tendency to ramble - I apologise to anyone in advance. Don't say I didn't warn you :-)

A brief intro... that would be a good idea I think.

My name is James, I'm 31, I live in a large village in Cheshire (Near to Manchester UK). I have an overly friendly, highly excitable and somewhat bouncy Labrador ( no he doesn't take after his owner) and an eccentric cat who is lovely, once that is she has come out of her hiding place (behind the dishwasher) long enough, to allow you to get to know her.

I have some fantastic friends who I am lucky enough to see (or at least speak to) on a regular basis.
I also have ... a love of film.. cult TV.. comedy.. F1.. driving.. cooking and oh yes...being sarcastic :-)The latter is only ever in fun.. and entirely my mother's fault. - thanks mum :-) I think she must have left it to me in her will ;-)

That's it in a nut shell I guess....Let the blogging begin